Sex and Sensex

Disclaimers:

If reading material like this hurts your sensibility, there's always karanjoharmovies.com .

If you're a kid, I dont give a damn. most of you're bloody corrupted anyway

If you're the moral police, kiss my arse.

If you're still here, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.

What kind of an investor are you? Clues to be found in what kind of a fucker are you..

Stabilizers

Invest only long term, blue chip securities and “G”-Sec bonds and rely on steady dividends over the years, completely ignoring opportunities thrown up by periodical fluctuations and arbitrage. Just like getting married / committed early, staying loyal, and enjoying the fruits of holy matrimony. They will occasionally look at their peers and think they should try out active trading or a mistress, but will be too cushy in their comfort zone to actually do either.

MBA (Mediocre But Arrogant) / (Married but available)

Some others prefer to have a ‘balanced’ portfolio, depending on their appetite for risk, determined for most part by their age and financial security. In a parallel universe, some screw around like mad when young, only to stabilize to a steady partner, plus a fling or two on the side as age catches up. They invest in 10% bonds, 20% large cap, 20% mid cap, and 50% small cap. This gets revised to 20% bonds, 40% large caps, 30% mid cap and 10% small cap as the age advances. This is like being under the normal curve, an umbrella which covers 80% of the consideration set. These are typically the sort who’ll preach morality while making some short, quick adjustments to their own morality. The sorts who’ll tout vegetarianism as the big virtue, only to take a quick dig into the juicy hamburger.. “Just for the taste,la!!”

Pirates of the Carribean

Then we come to the ‘Buy Today, Sell tomorrow’ and ‘Daily Traders’. These are true pirates, vagabonds who love the thrill the risk, the magic , the possibility of starting a pauper and ending an emperor, or the other way round..all in a day’s work. Often, these people thrive on quick news that they desperately snatch before others. This also has to be followed by flawless execution of the guerilla warfare tactic.. eat, shoot and leave. Remember that friend/ acquaintance/ ex-flame who’s been running loose all over the place..yea yea.. that’s him/her. Its always ‘someone you know’ and never you. 1^st distinguishing character of a punter is to be in denial of the fact that he’s a punter, with no fundamental understanding to back his actions and only out for some opportunity hunting.

10 Colored African Macau

Often termed weirdos . These are the ones out to ‘try’ the other varieties, mostly for the heck of it. Bi-curious , inter-racial , bondage , and maybe other species too. They often elicit reactions like “gross!” “disgusting!” “creepy!” by the others. Commodity trade, futures and options, money market, bullion, derivatives all fall into this category. An overwhelming majority of the junta doesn’t really understand it, and is not even interested to get a grip.

Dog-Watch

Last comes the one who watches over the going-ons of the market, to set the rules of the game and to implement them, so as to keep going an illusion of a fair, non rigged market, one that the small investors feel safe to enter with their small stakes. It’s the Market regulator in the securities markets and the law and order machinery (with voluntary support from the self appointed moral police) for the other side of the moon.

Remember, it is these small stakes that aggregate to become the large pie all the big boys want to dip their fingers into. They are the ones who all come in to join someone else’s party, mesmerized by the lights and sounds and end up either crossing over to the big boys side, or getting royally fucked, mostly the latter.

So long ,and happy ‘in’vesting!