Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Saturday, September 22, 2007
UV
The Saturday night fever carried on to the hotel too. The normal corridor lights were switched off, and instead, bright blue bling lights lit up the entire way. “here comes de hotsteppa” Move over Marriott, Hotel Shiv Gopi’s gonna kick some ass.
Glo-Bahoo
The salesman abandoned his plan of heading out at 5:30 AM tomorrow to some distant shithole so I got a windfall holiday..Its criminal to actually expect a weekly off here so it has to be called a windfall and felt appropriately grateful for. Decided to get myself a good dinner to remind that Saturday evenings were supposed to be fun sometime in the past. March to the best restaurant around-Panchsheel Manpasand. Ignore the name, the place is actually half–decent.
I was the only ‘non-phamilee’ chap where most groups were families, ranging from 4 to 6 members. The bahoos of the families here are really like the flashy red beacons on old white ambassadors. They’re seriously dressed so over the top, glitter and all, it even puts the dilliwallahs to shame. The barometer of a family’s success, power and wealth is how much of a glow-worm the family bahoo is.
I was the only ‘non-phamilee’ chap where most groups were families, ranging from 4 to 6 members. The bahoos of the families here are really like the flashy red beacons on old white ambassadors. They’re seriously dressed so over the top, glitter and all, it even puts the dilliwallahs to shame. The barometer of a family’s success, power and wealth is how much of a glow-worm the family bahoo is.
TCS in Las Vegas(pur)
“Vishrampur” welcomed the board on the road. I immideately thought of the logo “Vishrampur-the citi always sleeps” and quietly laughed at my own joke, making the salesman doubt my mental stability.
So well, shop after shop of the same plastic smiles and sales pitches when we came across a chemist. A chemist less ordinary because he had made a shop-in-shop by dedicating his entire left wall to condoms and titled it TCS-The Condom Shop.
Yes, you’re really reading what you’re reading-In this sleepy, forgotton by the world hamlet called, out of all names, ‘vishrampur’, there is an entire wall dedicated to condoms- all colors, flavors, varieties, durations possible.
Makes me wonder-was Vegas also one day like Vishrampur, chanced upon by an pirate entrepreneur , jolted out of his own sleepiness by an experience as unexpected as this.
So well, shop after shop of the same plastic smiles and sales pitches when we came across a chemist. A chemist less ordinary because he had made a shop-in-shop by dedicating his entire left wall to condoms and titled it TCS-The Condom Shop.
Yes, you’re really reading what you’re reading-In this sleepy, forgotton by the world hamlet called, out of all names, ‘vishrampur’, there is an entire wall dedicated to condoms- all colors, flavors, varieties, durations possible.
Makes me wonder-was Vegas also one day like Vishrampur, chanced upon by an pirate entrepreneur , jolted out of his own sleepiness by an experience as unexpected as this.
Wicked Games
I returned from the field alone as the salesman wanted to hang around longer for some personal work. ,It was a 4 hour long , bumpy ride.I was looking thoroughly like an NRI snob, Ray-Bans firmly stuck to the nose. Desparately needed to entertain myself. A middle aged villager sat on the adjacent seat.Ah, here comes the bakra! I offered him some of the snack I was eating. The man smiled and took it. Soon, he wanted to make conversation. “Are you from abroad ? ”, he asked “Well, no..from Mumbai”, replied the Ray Bans. He now waited for me to ask him the same , but I wouldn’t give him the pleasure, no sir. Soon curiosity killed the cat- “ So Mumbai must be a big city, no” “sure” 2 minutes of pregnant pause..blink bugger blink. Bingo! “So..nice girls there?” Now Ill really gave it to him, lied through my Ray-Bans, “Yeah man, hot chicks, real good ones, and running after men , too! You know, since the sex ration is just 800 men to 1000 women, we get lucky all the time. You should check out Mumbai sometime dude” Pause...Knock out punch boy, he’s gonna hate his village forever now.
“If you think Mumbai is so good why are you in Ambikapur ?”
Phoooos..goes the prank.
“If you think Mumbai is so good why are you in Ambikapur ?”
Phoooos..goes the prank.
Lap Dance
The return journey in the early morning was far more comfortable and doubtless, safer.
A very interesting cherry on the cake now..I was sitting on the aisle seat in an impossibly crowded (and stinky bus) . A girl standing casually leaned across and sat on my lap..after the initial surprise, I requested her to get up..she smiled and complied..But within 5 mins, it was back to the unwanted lap dance.This time I told her to get up a little louder, hoping the public attention and disapproval will embarrass her into permanently moving.To the contrary , she smiled and said she was too tired to stand..and the public, yes our Indian public, smiled and refuse to take it any further..Now I just pushed her away and thankfully, she moved away for good this time..Phew!
Rest of the day was fairly regular..took a bath in manendargarh and did the market with the stockist, came back after a very very sumptuous lunch of biryani and kaleji.
A very interesting cherry on the cake now..I was sitting on the aisle seat in an impossibly crowded (and stinky bus) . A girl standing casually leaned across and sat on my lap..after the initial surprise, I requested her to get up..she smiled and complied..But within 5 mins, it was back to the unwanted lap dance.This time I told her to get up a little louder, hoping the public attention and disapproval will embarrass her into permanently moving.To the contrary , she smiled and said she was too tired to stand..and the public, yes our Indian public, smiled and refuse to take it any further..Now I just pushed her away and thankfully, she moved away for good this time..Phew!
Rest of the day was fairly regular..took a bath in manendargarh and did the market with the stockist, came back after a very very sumptuous lunch of biryani and kaleji.
Fooled by randomness
Early morning rush to the railway station, to catch the 7 AM train, which sauntered in casually at 8..long sleep all the way to Chirmiri, coal mine town. Beautiful natural surroundings..got to the stockist a bit late because of train delay.The salesman had already left for the market with others. Discussed the possibility of opening a stockist in the north western edge of the state with the stockist.He suggested we take a trip as the market was ‘reasonably flourishing’ there..quick decision to move immideately. Misguiding bastard. Long, slow ride through a lonely countryside. Pure, hauntingly beautiful forests on both sides of the road. We would come across another vehicle only every 5-6 kms..though there were rivers to be crossed every 2-3 kms..While some had bridges, others had to be driven thru!!
The bus was full of semi tribal people..Crossed some road side sluts peddling themselves to goodness knows who. I rode almost half way standing at the door of the bus, which was memorable not only because it felt good but also as it reminded me of Mumbai, beloved Mumbai.
In that 120 km long stretch, we just crosses ONE place that could lay claim to being a semi village.
Finally, Jankapur-felt like El Dorado..but where was the fabled treasure.. The place turned out tiny and irrelevant in terms of shop coverage. The villagers looked suspicious and held us in a constant stare that seemed to be mocking the moronic babus.
A casual walk and some light enquiries led us to the big grocer of the village, also the substockist of the HLL (Impressive, mate!) An hour of useless, aimless negotiations later, we set to look for food and a place to stay..food was not to tough, navigation in the pitch dark was..snakes, naxalites, random dacoits even a wayward insect depositing his venom into my nerves in self defence. The bumper surprise came in the form of the lodge..named maa chand(after the local pagan goddess), the 3 storey structure was almost half a kilometer inside from the road, instantly arousing suspicion.The room was shady as shady could be, we being the only occupants on the 3rd story of the desolate building, green walls et al. seemed like a scene right out of an underground S&M movie.. We decided to keep awake the entire night, alert and ready to fight till the end, if need be. The heroic effort lasted a total of 15 mins, when the exhausted soldiers fell into slumber.
The bus was full of semi tribal people..Crossed some road side sluts peddling themselves to goodness knows who. I rode almost half way standing at the door of the bus, which was memorable not only because it felt good but also as it reminded me of Mumbai, beloved Mumbai.
In that 120 km long stretch, we just crosses ONE place that could lay claim to being a semi village.
Finally, Jankapur-felt like El Dorado..but where was the fabled treasure.. The place turned out tiny and irrelevant in terms of shop coverage. The villagers looked suspicious and held us in a constant stare that seemed to be mocking the moronic babus.
A casual walk and some light enquiries led us to the big grocer of the village, also the substockist of the HLL (Impressive, mate!) An hour of useless, aimless negotiations later, we set to look for food and a place to stay..food was not to tough, navigation in the pitch dark was..snakes, naxalites, random dacoits even a wayward insect depositing his venom into my nerves in self defence. The bumper surprise came in the form of the lodge..named maa chand(after the local pagan goddess), the 3 storey structure was almost half a kilometer inside from the road, instantly arousing suspicion.The room was shady as shady could be, we being the only occupants on the 3rd story of the desolate building, green walls et al. seemed like a scene right out of an underground S&M movie.. We decided to keep awake the entire night, alert and ready to fight till the end, if need be. The heroic effort lasted a total of 15 mins, when the exhausted soldiers fell into slumber.
Washing-a-Ton
Day began with me giving hell to the hotel attendant who didn’t get my clothes washed because his mouth was paining..had a momentary vision of the bastard whirling all my clothes in his mouth like a ‘front-loader’ .Quite entertaining ,these hotels, right from the raipur one that wanted to make my stay as hospital as possible to this one, where they work on a parallel timeline altogether.
Shankarji - The Boss
Last week went by in a blur, sales tricks, walking like mad.Got to Ambikapur yesterday morning, and did the market entire day after that..Sunday was gone in travelling to and working the sitapur mkt.This is a semi Naxal territory and police stations have barbed wires and bunkers to fight back in case of an attack..Apparantly, ‘Vasuli’ does happen sometimes.The stockist was new and was falling over himself to please the ‘bada sahib’(ME)
Multiple Sarcasm
Spent the day behind bolted doors in the hotel room.somehow, it helps to protect my mind from the shit outside in this godforsaken small town.
Searching out all obscure friends,acquaintances, anybody to kill that feeling of being pulled out of ‘The Matrix’
Searching out all obscure friends,acquaintances, anybody to kill that feeling of being pulled out of ‘The Matrix’
Hit the road , Jack and don’t come back no more no more no more
Unexpectedly half-decent, this sleepy town Raipur in the middle of nowhere. But the mind is restless, Krishna!!
I find myself looking minutely at everything just to find something to criticize, ridicule as hopelessly small town..Voila! “ Hotel Aditya- our aim being to make the place hospital for our guests”
I find myself looking minutely at everything just to find something to criticize, ridicule as hopelessly small town..Voila! “ Hotel Aditya- our aim being to make the place hospital for our guests”
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